Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
