How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
