in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
