12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
