after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
