He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
