I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
