Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
