Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
ok first of all what the fuck
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
