Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
