Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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