she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
