it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
