Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
