I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
