Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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