apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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