I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
