I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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