No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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