kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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