Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
