why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
