He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
