we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
