i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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