Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i will never coherently bang her
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
