i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
