Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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