No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Randomize
