woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
