I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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