i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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