halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
