Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
soo... how was my night?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
