Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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