i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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