Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
