Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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