Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
