4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I touched a dick in church today
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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