I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
