apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
