Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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