I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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