everyone is single if you try hard enough
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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