I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
How naked do you want me to be?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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