You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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