my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
