Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize