dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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