i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
