Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
