just come out here and I will go home with you...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
