how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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