kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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